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Thursday, June 12, 2014

140612

There're times in your life when you think you're so strong that you don't need anyone in your life and you're more than capable to take down everything by yourself. You start pushing people away and shutting down yourself from people who cares for you. And you never held a tinge of doubt that every human has loopholes. So suddenly in midnight you jerked up from bad dreams, all you got is pitch black,the familiar sensation of insecurities found their way into your vulnerable spot,those past which you've been tried your very best to bury came crawling back, images and people, they hunt you down and you've got nowhere to escape and hide. You never feel so naked in your entire life. Not even your pajamas can cover your scars. You wanted to get hold of somebody but you've got no one. You're all alone. And finally you realize you're anything but strong and you'd never be. 
But now you're not alone anymore. Not in midnight going through the suffocating flashback of your past all alone. There's someone you can always count on when you feel like hell. You're still timid but at least you've someone to hold on tight. Still thinking about how strong and independent are you? Don't go all optimist to life, it will always throw you a grenade the time you've put you guard down and least expected. 

Sunday, May 18, 2014

140518#random#

Must be so hard to be with me.
I'm suck in many things and I know that.
I can't even make myself to fix those problems. I've trouble dealing with people I really cared. It's kinda challenging to me that how to express myself without annoyed people. What I'm trying to say here, I miss home because I miss the feelings being spoilt in the house and nobody will talk a thing. I miss home because the whateverness I can do and everyone will bear with me. This is life. This is uni. You're looking for ppl who's capable of reading your mind and intentions yet they stay with you in the end ? Are you for real ? You're starting to reveal your true self. You've exposed yourself to risks. Dreamy-feely wasn't helping the situation. Your boyfriend is way too amazing and almost perfect to be real. The problem is not him. But reality. You thought you're normal species, but you're devil kind. 
So the devil knows how to smile.

140518

What's wrong with me today? 
Damn I miss home
Damn I miss my parents
Just a call from mum then the tears flowing non-stop
我撒娇说我好想回家,她说我已经不是小孩子了。不过我觉得我是,我一直都是。👶👶👶👪
Emo个毛啊 
我就真的很想家啊
T.T T.T T.T
Hold on tight. One month to go. Just one month. Be strong please. Big girl don't cry. Don't let'em worry.


Saturday, May 17, 2014

140517

Past is intimidating. It still haunt me even till now.

我的人生出现了意外。

没有预兆,打乱了我一切计划,措手而不及。一个月前我的预想绝对不是这样的。

You just appeared. Out of nowhere ,without expected. No reasons needed. Because I know why. Nothing can stopped us from intruding each other's life. Life is ironic, after all. Just like what had happened to me one year ago. How great time is. It makes us heal. So that we can start all over and learn to love again.

你的出现让我相信冥冥之中,让我相信发生在我们身上的一切都不是偶然。不管过去多么不堪,它让我们走向彼此。我感谢冥冥之中的缘分让我遇见你。我不知道明天会怎么样。我会努力幸福。我们会幸福的。


Sunday, May 11, 2014

140511

9/5     Awkward arised 
10/5   Awkward leveled up 
11/5   Awkward bursts
I can't get it. I can't get myself. What've I gotten myself into ? 
This is me after all. I've made my choice. I'll take full responsible. Fresh start, new life, you definitely need this.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

140509

Dark side.
I'm so not ready yet. For a healthier mindset and build a new relationship, I'm definitely not ready now. So many questions I'm talking to myself. Everything seems going so smooth it scares me. I know this will end eventually. Too good to be true. Too good to be mine. 

Thursday, April 17, 2014

140418

Something isn't right tonight.
The pang in my chest just happened. Too sudden I didn't even get the time to shield it. Just back from 5-hours non-stop dance training, I guess the exhaustion of both physical an mental did this damn emo thing on me. Right timing. The song kinda reminded me of my eternal nightmare. Shit. Damn it. Then it started. You know when you feel like out of breath, like fish out of water, being tossed out of water, like someone's straggling you. Post traumatic syndrome, along with the trust issue.