140614

Apparently today's theme is somewhere lingered around flashback. Considered sem 2's gonna end, third last day I decide to recall back everything happened(and it's eventful)during my second semester in this uni. Geez how sentimental am I. Hmm so on the first day I went bck here after a one-month plus short holiday,and there I was,unpackaging things and crying like a baby while holding an apple in my hand (Yea my mum's apple)and then I realize I actually haven't grown up, not even a little. The rest of the week passed with emotionally unstable due to homesick and got the offer to join Annabelle Dance crew. A real surprise that made me instantly forgot about the damn homesick. It's like I've found sth that made my blood boiled. And worth to strike for. Many things happened then, good followed by bad. Nonstop drama and finally settled down with my current crew after tons of meeting and discussion about the merging of both crews. It's peachy subject to talk about actually. Kick-start of the semester was a charity event called 3C and we've got the chance to perform the song 'Wolf'. Got bruises and a few scratches by the intense moves but still managed to cope with it. It's a really cool event especially I got to meet up with sis and friends.

And we move on to the next Ice cream factory charity event. I did the contemporary dance which full of emotions and the cheerful song named Into The New World,flash mob in the end and a little bit of crazy dance. 

Still sulking for bad past I finally buckled up myself and went on a short vacation. It's felt so refreshing after meeting up with siblings and friends. Nothing beats these. 

Meanwhile our crew did our first flashmob at lecture place. T-ara ft N4 Jeon Won diary. Cool song. And then there's an intruder who creeped his way into my life. Little did I know he's gonna walked straight into my heart(cheesy much okay I admit). Next one was the MV shooting for the theme song of MPP event. Yes we actually dancing under the hot sun. We've been practising the song for a couple of nights maybe? Too express huh 

The coming event was MISC flower young(kinda forgot the full name)our crew did a retro dance called 'Rock Around The World'in group and 'Stupid Cupid' for ladies! I was having so much fun dancing in the retro-mode.

AIESEC Global fiesta on the very next day. JeonWon Diary mode again and plus-one song Warrier. Mags really rocks here. Never felt so alive before the moment I went off the stage.

Masquerade-themed grand dinner of Eon. First time trying out fashion show and the whole catwalk-in-killing-heels thing was literally torturing. Heels wasn't a joke I sweared. Anyway it ended up well. WOlf dance followed up that night.

Wasn't so keen to share my first hiking experience here knowing I'll basically bragging and vomiting everything out until god-knows-what-time. To sum it up, I've got nightmares of leeches crawling all over your body a few nights after but the outcome was pretty satisfying(a hot potential funny and muscle guy who took care of you all the way back)Mind-blowing experience I can say. Move on to event of the semester Spring fest. A bunch of waiter and waitress coming out from nowhere with dishes in their hand suddenly started to dance. Such an idea haha.We've done the ultimate and freaking intense training and working so hard on it just to produce the perfect dance. 'Party animal' and 'Ringa Linga' on the night. 

That night he confessed. Slightly awkward and embarrassing moment which I'll never forgot. 

There he was. Funny,charming,maniac,making no sense at all,doesn't give a damn about things he don't care,perfect gentleman and boyfriend. He makes me laugh like nothing else's mattered anymore,makes me forget about bad things,working so hard on coping with my moodswing strikes. 

Well homestay with da crew before final. One word to described? Crowded. Felt like shit the next day for up all night talking out heart out. I mean this was a sleepover right? We're supposed to back with dark circles. So it's final now. I've done my 5th papers and one more to go. This is me. My second semester. 

140612

There're times in your life when you think you're so strong that you don't need anyone in your life and you're more than capable to take down everything by yourself. You start pushing people away and shutting down yourself from people who cares for you. And you never held a tinge of doubt that every human has loopholes. So suddenly in midnight you jerked up from bad dreams, all you got is pitch black,the familiar sensation of insecurities found their way into your vulnerable spot,those past which you've been tried your very best to bury came crawling back, images and people, they hunt you down and you've got nowhere to escape and hide. You never feel so naked in your entire life. Not even your pajamas can cover your scars. You wanted to get hold of somebody but you've got no one. You're all alone. And finally you realize you're anything but strong and you'd never be. 

But now you're not alone anymore. Not in midnight going through the suffocating flashback of your past all alone. There's someone you can always count on when you feel like hell. You're still timid but at least you've someone to hold on tight. Still thinking about how strong and independent are you? Don't go all optimist to life, it will always throw you a grenade the time you've put you guard down and least expected. 

140518#random#

Must be so hard to be with me.

I'm suck in many things and I know that.

I can't even make myself to fix those problems. I've trouble dealing with people I really cared. It's kinda challenging to me that how to express myself without annoyed people. What I'm trying to say here, I miss home because I miss the feelings being spoilt in the house and nobody will talk a thing. I miss home because the whateverness I can do and everyone will bear with me. This is life. This is uni. You're looking for ppl who's capable of reading your mind and intentions yet they stay with you in the end ? Are you for real ? You're starting to reveal your true self. You've exposed yourself to risks. Dreamy-feely wasn't helping the situation. Your boyfriend is way too amazing and almost perfect to be real. The problem is not him. But reality. You thought you're normal species, but you're devil kind. 

So the devil knows how to smile.

140518

What's wrong with me today? 

Damn I miss home

Damn I miss my parents

Just a call from mum then the tears flowing non-stop

我撒娇说我好想回家，她说我已经不是小孩子了。不过我觉得我是，我一直都是。👶👶👶👪

Emo个毛啊 

我就真的很想家啊

T.T T.T T.T

Hold on tight. One month to go. Just one month. Be strong please. Big girl don't cry. Don't let'em worry.

140517

Past is intimidating. It still haunt me even till now.

我的人生出现了意外。

没有预兆，打乱了我一切计划，措手而不及。一个月前我的预想绝对不是这样的。

You just appeared. Out of nowhere ,without expected. No reasons needed. Because I know why. Nothing can stopped us from intruding each other's life. Life is ironic, after all. Just like what had happened to me one year ago. How great time is. It makes us heal. So that we can start all over and learn to love again.

你的出现让我相信冥冥之中，让我相信发生在我们身上的一切都不是偶然。不管过去多么不堪，它让我们走向彼此。我感谢冥冥之中的缘分让我遇见你。我不知道明天会怎么样。我会努力幸福。我们会幸福的。

140511

9/5     Awkward arised 

10/5   Awkward leveled up 

11/5   Awkward bursts

I can't get it. I can't get myself. What've I gotten myself into ? 

This is me after all. I've made my choice. I'll take full responsible. Fresh start, new life, you definitely need this.

140509

Dark side.

I'm so not ready yet. For a healthier mindset and build a new relationship, I'm definitely not ready now. So many questions I'm talking to myself. Everything seems going so smooth it scares me. I know this will end eventually. Too good to be true. Too good to be mine.