130327

有些人就是怎么戒也戒不掉。
原以为终于走远了，迈向全新的生活，重新开始，走着走着其实是回到原点。
明知道行不通，接受不了，不能长远，可就是固执的硬要捉着不放。对你公平吗？这样拖着你却其实不能和你走向未来。

130318

The day :
I'm happy because finally I'm able to make the people I cared proud of me. My parents and family will brag like a boss in front of their friends. They won't feel ashamed of me. No more disappointment and despair, everything's going just too well. Me of course feel overwhelmed, joy, unbelievable, unreal, and relief. I'm glad because my parents were happy because of me, this is the best present for me. I won't forget what happened today, like a miracle, thank you.

130317

Hmmmmm tick tok tick tok a few hours left...still freaking out...bothering...my unstoppable nervousness and worries...another sleepless night I guess...everything will coming to the end when the sun rise again.

130315

Well, the clocking is ticking, time is taking an Allegretto speed, Monday is coming.
I've imagine every possibilities for things to happen in the day. Yes it has become The Day for me. I told myself I should expect the worse , I don't want to end up like some losers who just can't accept their failure and disappointment. Tha day is getting closer and I'm getting all stress up. Seriously I've been counting down the second I opened my eyes every morning, I've been counting down for like every hours, I managed to find myself some distractions and they just didn't work out well. I keep telling myself, no matter what happened, whoever becomes the winner, don't be jealous because that wasn't mine at the first place, it's for them who hard works paid, it's for the people who deserves it.

130313

等啊〜等啊〜一等再等
过了一天是一天，感觉就像囚犯对判死刑的等待，不安猜疑，等待时间对了即将降临在自己身上的未知数，是被处死还是被释放重获自由，白天想晚上梦，学会把自己的情绪管得很妥当，不能太贪心的希望，不能太多的绝望，或许背负了太多期望，惶恐焦急却又度日如年。

130307

放手吧，没戏唱了。
我很想对着现实呐喊，与他争辩，尽管他是无可被否定的。我还是做不到让自己的情感变得坚强点，真的，我没那么脆弱，我不是一击即垮的人，只是我选择了成为那种人。其实都是选择的，潜意识里我选择让自己去相信不真实，保护自己对这世界的期望，让自己少受点伤。但是总要看清。今晚我看见了，听见了，感觉到了，这样的现实，那样的强烈那样的响亮。他告诉我收起对人的依赖，毕竟他不会无条件接受你的一切，他没有责任也没有义务去对你好，他想嫌你时就嫌你，想翻脸就翻，想骂就骂，想不理就不理。当下好气自己。也许应该回到像以前那样，活的谨慎一点，对人别太放松，因为没有人会无条件爱你。或许睡了一觉我又忘了这种警惕，不过临睡时分我想我是清醒的