130519

You never are not good enough for me. It's me, I'm not good enough for you. Trust me, you deserve better.

我睡了好久，做了一场好长好长的梦，梦醒时分，被现实推到水里去了。我不断挣扎想要呼吸，但却一直往下沉。在慌乱无助之际，出现了一块向我漂来的浮木，于是我抓着它企图想活命。

130516

Thanks for telling me that. You make me forget about the past at that moment. And sorry can't help you.  I don't want anything for now. Just peace.

Scar

I wish my heart can listen to me.
I keep telling myself, you're just someone in the past,someone I need to let go.
I keep telling myself, I don't love you actually.No I don't love you at all.
I keep telling myself to forget about you,everything we had.
It's killing me, day by day, I want to move on, I really do.
It's been hard,and it's still do.
Part of me that used to love you,trust you,long for you,I had to force it to die. Buried along with our memories.
I feel hollow. A big and deep hole in my heart.

130514

I still can't stop thinking about you. The pain seems faded but the truth is I just feel numb. I hope this is going to a right way. I think of you I still do, but at least you've stay away from my dream. I feel hurt, but at least I've manage to feel things other than pain. Not only pain anymore. I feel cheated because you don't love me yet you still pretend to, but at least there's still many people care for me, actually love me within their heart.

Yea I'm definitely moving on. I still feel horrible sometimes, but at least I've found my smiles back. My stomach feel sick and my appetite gone by the thought of you, but at least I've eaten more now. I'm trying so hard to find back my old self. The one before I met you and love you. Without you my life will never complete. 

110509

昨夜总算还好没在夜半惊醒。今天又领悟了多一点，原来你真的不爱我了。现在回想，其实好多小细节都看得出来，你对我的只是需要，在你家人面前演戏的需要，我太天真太确信你不会不爱我，结果这样的愚蠢让我看不清。你已在悄悄的给了我信号，我不想想太多。 我现在才知道，真的，心好痛，痛到胃里去了，我没办法振作，要我怎么振作？最痛最痛的是原来你在很久之前就不爱我了。还有，我留不住你的心。

130508

The pain never stop. Never been through never know. Miserable. I'm naive and stupid, I still believe a part of you actually belongs to me, only me, a real and sincere chern Yan. Our every first time, every date every outing every fight, I know why you pick her over me. I know, I bet you compared her to me all the time. I'm always the worse I know. I can see why you love her, despite all the things we've been through together. I've lose. And the feelings never go away. You don't give a shit about me anymore, she's the only person that you think about now, I'm no more, I'm nothing to you. After what we've been through, no more, to you, we've nothing, this is nothing. Damn it. I'm so pathetic.

130507

You've forgot all the things we've been through, I mean all. Your love for me were so vulnerable, you choose the new one. Your better one. You're not my innocent chern Yan who were only love Wong Soo min because we were first love for each other. Not anymore. You've no idea how you tore my heart into pieces when you told me you pick her over me. You don't love me anymore. Our relationship more than 1 year can't beat your college crush, your supposed-to-be-mistake-from-beginning relationship. Hurts like hell you know. Your promises, your words, your gifts, carrying all our would-be-gone love, they were real. At least they once were. But the only thing I'm sure about, I didn't forget. I won't. You did but I don't.